Response to Dostana

          Set entirely in Miami, the 2008 film Dostana certainly broke some norms of Bollywood film. Yes, it still had entangled romantic plots, enthusiastic dance sequences, and an actor with surname Bachchan. However, unlike most other Bollywood box-office hits, Dostana broached the idea of same-sex couples. Interestingly, the film additionally featured other familial structures that would be considered less common. Sam was raised by a single mother, Neha by her aunt, and Veer by his father Abhimanyu. Consciously or unconsciously, the film made strides to normalize homosexuality to the Indian community by placing it against the backdrop of these other less traditional families.

            As India remains relatively socially conservative, homosexuality is still considered to be a taboo topic. Deepa Mehta’s Fire stirred great controversy with its lesbian heroines, prompting protests and riots to break out. Therefore, the fact that Dostana was well-received with its star-studded cast, meant that it was in a position to send a message to a wide audience. Admittedly, at many moments, the film engaged in blatant, cringeworthy stereotyping, i.e. equating gay men to females and characterizing how they walk and speak. However, despite those, there were a few substantive moments of the film that lent a different perception.

            At the very beginning of the movie, we learn that at the age two, Sam lost his father. From the rest of the film, we then get the impression he was raised alone by his mother. This in itself is a familiar construction. The idea of the nurturing, selfless mother is familiar to Bollywood, as can be observed in both Deewar and Mother India. However, interestingly, it was presented alongside the single father. In the scene in which Neha buys Veer another ice cream, we learned more about Abhimanyu’s character. Upon Neha commenting that she didn’t know Abhimanyu was married, he replied, “I was. Not anymore. She left us.” Then, operating under the stereotypical assumption that the mother is a nurturing figure who wouldn’t leave, Neha immediately interpreted this to mean that the mother Nisha has died. However, it turned out that Nisha simply left Abhimanyu for someone else. Temporarily, Abhimanyu’s mother lived with them to help out, but then she died, leaving him as a single father.

 Therefore, having seen both a single mother and a single father, we now see the concept of a ‘typical’ family melting away, as characters grew up from a very young age, never having had both a mother and a father. At no point did it seem like Sam hadn’t been able to mature due to the lack of a father figure, or like Abhimanyu wasn’t nurturing enough towards his son Veer.  This starts to chip away at stereotypical notions of what a family can be, in terms of requiring both a father and a mother. Additionally, there was nothing in the movie that implied one gender should naturally be better at raising children than the other. The two examples above show that ‘typical’ families can fall apart, and nothing about them is inherently more stable. This idea is bolstered when we find out that Neha lost both of her parents in a car accident when she was just nine. In the touching scene in which Neha confronted Sam’s mother, she defended love (of any kind) and its right to endure, especially speaking to the fact she has witnessed the ephemeral nature of both life and relationships. 

Overall, in Dostana, we were never actually introduced to a ‘typical’ in-tact family, that consists of both a mother and a father. This forces the audience to rethink how it defines family and familial relationships, and the film simultaneously broaches the topic of same-sex couples. Dostana is a testament to the fact that the definition of family needs to be redefined for a modern world.